


in the name of love

by orphan_account



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Axel's Pure Girlish Feelings, KHSECRETSANTA2016, M/M, Pining, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-25
Updated: 2016-12-25
Packaged: 2018-09-12 02:12:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,247
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9051169
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: There were no shoujo sparkles or “doki dokis” either, thank you very much.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [dutchydoescoke](https://archiveofourown.org/users/dutchydoescoke/gifts).



> hello this is 1 of 3 or 4 fics i've prepared for my khsecretsanta recipient @dutchydoescoke !!! i hope you well.... enjoy this. it's a mess i apologize, the other fics will be better, hopefully aaaaaaaa,,
> 
> MERRY CHRISTMAS TO YOU!!!!! 
> 
> also the title..... came from "in the name of love".... the song. i just had this song blasting in repeat in the background while i was typing this fic up.
> 
> edit: hi it was me!!!!

It's at the local laundromat near their dormitory that Axel realises that his feelings for his long-time best friend Roxas weren't on the straight and narrow. In fact, they were not straight at all.

It doesn't make him blush like a gosh damned virgin or leave him feeling hot and bothered, thank god. There were no _shoujo_ sparkles or “ _doki dokis_ ” either, thank you very much.

Axel decides that it isn't so bad, liking Roxas. Honestly, he's glad that it's Roxas and not, say, that guy Saix that helps out their Chemistry professor, Xemnas. (Honestly, who the hell named him? He kinda feels bad for the old guy.) In fact, if he were being honest with himself, he would admit that he'd seen it coming, the whole 'developing feelings' thing. He and Roxas were practically joined at the hip now. They'd been friends since he was a junior in high school and Roxas was a freshman.

So, what was wrong with falling for Roxas? Nothing, that's what.

Then again, Roxas might not be interested. He's never seen Roxas make a comment about dating. Come to think of it, even as a college student, Roxas has never once showed any romantic (or otherwise) interest in anyone. Maybe he was – what was that term that Xion called herself – asexual? Or was it aromantic? (Haha, it sounds like _aromatic_. Now that, Axel knew a lot about.)

Well, he wasn't planning on telling Roxas, anyway. Not because he was afraid of rejection (he kind of was), but because he was content with being friends with the (fake) blond.

Why wouldn't he be, honestly? Roxas provided more entertainment for the redhead than the television ever could.

For one, when Roxas was in one of his 'bitch fits', he was extra snappish and his tongue was so sharp it could absolutely cut through diamond. Axel loved watching Roxas deal with the world when he was like that until, of course, Roxas took out some of his anger at Axel. He just became plain annoying when he did that.

Second of all, Roxas talked really animatedly when you asked him about his interests, especially photography. His eyes would light up like goddamn fairy lights when he started 'geeking out'. His hands moved in circles and his voice was loud enough unlike how it usually was when he talked normally. Roxas just really loved photography. (Axel reckons that it's not really the photography Roxas likes but the whole 'making memories' thing. Maybe.)

Lastly, Roxas was a damn good cook. If Axel lived alone or, say, with Luxord, a guy from one of his Accounting classes, they'd have burned the damn flat in no time flat (no pun intended).

So yeah, Axel doesn't mind keeping his feelings a secret from Roxas and risk jeopardizing their friendship. He was mature enough (haha) to know how to deal with feelings, neurotransmitters, and hormones like a responsible adult.

* * *

Axel, among his group of friends, is considered a fucking liar. And that's what he is. He's a fucking liar. He doesn't deal with this... his fucking feelings like a responsible adult. Marluxia and Larxene can attest to this. They are sitting in one of the bars near their university, watching Axel drink shot after shot, as he tells them how beautiful and blue Roxas's eyes are and how he wishes Roxas would stop dyeing his damn hair because he likes it brown. Larxene stopped thinking this was funny 8 shots ago and now she was just pissed off. She didn't ask to be dragged to the bar to listen to Axel talk about his raging boner for Roxas.

“Hey, assface. If you like him so much, why don't you just tell him?” What was so hard about telling Roxas his pure girlish feelings anyway? It's not like they weren't already fucking married in Larxene's eyes. Seriously, no two guys spent the entire day at home, in each other's presence unless they were disgusting dudebros circlejerking together or fucking each other.

“You're not fucking listening. I said,” and here he took a shot, “That I can't just... walk up to him and tell him all this shit. What if he doesn't feel the same and things get awkward around the house? I'll have to move out and live with you, would you want that? I sure wouldn't.” True, Larxene did not want to live with Axel. Just an hour in his presence made her want to stab a socket with a fork. If he ever ended up moving into her and Marluxia's dorm, she didn't doubt that she would set something on fire.

Marluxia, ever the calm one, stopped Axel from taking another shot, grabbing his wrist hard enough he might have snapped it if he gripped any harder. “Axel, you drinking like this is unsightly. We're stopping right now. I'm driving you back to your place, and you are going to tell Roxas what's bothering you.” His glare said 'no-buts'.

“You're not my momma, Marly.” And Axel was absolutely pouting. Axel. Pouting. The world was spinning out of its axis.

“I am not, true, but I'm telling you, this isn't healthy. And while I don't mind if you drink yourself till you die of alcohol poisoning, Roxas will surely mind and he might come for us and kill us in an act of vengeance for you, or something.” How he could say all this with a straight face, Axel will never know. He gives up his next shot, though. He was getting kind of dizzy, seeing as there were now three Marluxias frowning at him. He had to laugh at that, three Marluxias. As if one wasn't annoying enough.

“Help me get him up, Larxene.”

And so, Larxene and Marluxia walked him all the way to Marluxia's car, where Larxene all but tossed Axel to the backseat, while she rode shotgun. He was inebriated, and thinking how best to tell his best friend, who might not be interested in him, his feelings for him. All he could think of was walking up to Roxas and just kissing him, not caring if he got kicked in the 'nads for doing so. (Okay, that's a lie. He cares about the family jewels.) The drive back home was silent, thank god, because his head was fucking pounding and he felt like shit. Maybe it was a really bad idea to drink like there was no tomorrow. (A sober and admonishing part of his brain told him there probably wouldn't be a tomorrow for him if he told Roxas how he felt and got kicked out of the house. He would die starving.)

Hey, at least he wasn't like that guy with the medical eyepatch who got so drunk someone had to get a wheelchair for the poor bastard. He still had most of his mental faculties with him.

So. Roxas. How was Axel gonna tell him? If he was even going to be able to tell him. The car kept jostling him and he was pretty sure he was ready to upchuck everything he ate from yesterday dinner till lunch a while ago. Oh Christ.

Good thing for him (and for Marluxia) that they had finally reached his flat. Axel dashed out of the car and ran to the gutter, expelling the contents of his stomach.

"Fucking disgusting," he heard Larxene say.

Axel stood up, feeling slightly better, head pounding less, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. God. He was never doing that again. Probably. Depends on how tonight ends.

"Does the princess need help getting back to her castle?" Larxene sneered. Axel flipped the bird at her. He needed to get his head on straight before he went back in, or else his mouth will just run off on its own.

Marluxia knocked on the door to Roxas and his shared dorm room, it didn't take long for Roxas to answer. The angry look on his face turned into a confused look when he saw Marluxia; he was most likely expecting Axel.

"We're just here to make a delivery, Roxas," he said by way of greeting, as Larxene pulled Axel by the arm, then pushing him into their dorm room, slamming the door on her way out.

"Wow, what's her problem?" Roxas asked, shaking his head. He turned his head to Axel who was now lying face-first on the couch. "Hey, jerkwad, where'd you go?"

Sadly, he did not get a reply. Axel had passed out.

"Oh, for fuck's sake."

* * *

 Axel woke up with the world's greatest hangover. He began a litany of curses as he reached full wakefulness, god, what the fuck. He was on the couch, with a blanket on him.

Jesus, did he tell Roxas anything he shouldn't have last night?

A pained groan escaped him as he sat up from the couch, his back aching in protest from the position he slept in last night. Roxas sat up from his bed, Axel's noisy whining must've woken him up.

"Axel, you up?"

"Yeah, buddy. Just gimme a sec," he said, massaging his temples. How many shots had he had last night? 18? Never again.

He opened his eyes to Roxas giving him his signature "alright-buddy-you've-got-some-explaining-to-do" look.

Axel groaned again, "Long story short, I went and got smashed."

Roxas rolled his eyes so hard, Axel wondered if he didn't hurt himself, "I know that, genius. You smelled fucking terrible last night, you don't even know." The _what happened to warrant a drinking session?_ didn't need to be said.

Axel whined (actually whined, what a pissbaby), "It's too early for this, Rox." Seriously, didn't Axel get a chance to at least brush his teeth before he had to profess his undying love for his best friend? This was so unfair. His mouth still tastes like puke and vodka. Bad combination, bad, bad, bad combination.

"It's 11 AM actually, Sleeping Beauty."

"Oh fuck me."

"My, Axel. How forward," Roxas said, hands to his chest. His eyes looked like they'd pop out of their sockets soon, what with all the rolling Roxas was doing with them. "Seriously, what's up? Did something happen? Did you fail your Chemistry class? Maybe you should tell the department that Xemnas isn't even teaching the right subject. Who teaches about the human heart in Chemistry class?"

"Nah, nah. Not him." Axel said, rubbing his neck, so this was it, huh. "It's about... well, you actually."

"Me? Pray tell, what did you have in mind about me that you'd spend the night with two people you don't even like that much? Is something wrong?" Even when Roxas talked like that, he knew from Roxas's body language that he was being defensive.

"No, nothing's wrong... just." Axel clucked his tongue, and then ran it over his teeth. How was he going to say this?

"Axel, talk."

"Alright, alright. Just," he rubbed his hand through his hair, messing it up even more, "Wanna go out with me?" Fuck, he wasn't gonna say that. Fuck. What.

"What the fuck?" Roxas had the cutest confused look on his face, "Are you pulling my leg right now?"

Well, he'd better just man up and get this done with. Maybe rejection wouldn't hurt so badly this late in the morning with his head imitating a bass drop. "No, man. I'm not joking. I... totally want to go on a date with you," he ran a hand down his face, "Seriously." He couldn't even look at Roxas in the eye, his stomach was doing flops that made him think that he was going to have a round 2 of last night.

"This is why you went out drinking with Larxene and Marluxia?" He could hear the incredulity in Roxas's voice, "Oh my God, Axel."

"Yeah, bud. So, if you don't wanna, could you just tell it to my straight 'cause–"

"Sure, why not?"

Axel faced Roxas, and it was his turn to look incredulous, "No bullshit?"

And there it was again, Roxas rolling his eyes, he seemed to be doing that a lot this morning, "Yes, dumbass. I'm not bullshitting you. Honestly, if you wanted to go on a date with me, you could have just asked."

"Didn't know if I could just do that, man. Far as I know, you've never had any... well..."

Roxas frowned at him, "What, relationships?"

"Well, yeah." He worried his bottom lip, okay, so maybe he was being a judgmental ass, but in his defense, Roxas has never talked about romance or relationships. Ever. He's known the guy for so long, he _knows_ what he's talking about.

A sigh, "And so, you jumped to this conclusion that I would never want to be involved with anyone ever, whether they be male, female, or something else. Is that it?"

"... Pretty much."

"You're a tool, you know that? I'd have said yes if you just asked. God."

"Just like that?"

"Yeah, just like that. We're practically married anyway."

Roxas laughed at the look on Axel's face (he probably looked like a fish), "Wait, what?"

"Larxene told me, last night. She called me while you were passed out on the couch, "Roxas, sweetheart, could you take care of your honeybun for us? I don't want to see his face near my department ever again. Just go do married stuff already," was what she said."

Axel shook his head, laughing, "What the fuck."

Roxas shrugged, "I know."

* * *

 "So, Seventh Heaven?"

"Why would you take your date to the bar, you dumbass?"

 

**Author's Note:**

> that thing with the guy so drunk he ended up on a wheelchair actually happened
> 
> my blockmate got so fucking blitzed he ended up on a wheelchair and my other blockmates took a groufie and sent it to our block's group chat, it was beautiful.
> 
> again, merry christmas!!!!!! ❆


End file.
